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The Lord's perfect ideal for marriage is one man, one woman for life. But! In John 4 we have the story of Christ working to reach a woman who is on her sixth relationship. She is the only one He directly told He was the Messiah. With everyone else, it was symbolic language like "I am the light of the world". Though we fall short, He does want to help us. With that in mind, here are some lessons I've learned from 37 years of marriage. I set these words before myself and others as a goal to reach, not a cheap shot to take.

For a man to make his marriage last for life, his wife has to be more important than:
his career
his hobbies
hanging out with his buddies
playing or watching sports.

He's got to do more than say the words. He's got to show it by everyday actions. He also needs to keep up whatever little attentions worked to win her heart the first time. Every day should be like a first date in some way. He has to win her heart over and over and over.

And he has to "be a man", which means not wasting his money on booze, gambling or other self-indulgences. Even in a time of two career families, physically providing is his role in many ways. It's not about the money, it's about the emotional stability the money gives the whole family.

For a woman to make her marriage successful, she must continue to be that innocent, precious little sweetie pie he first fell in love with. This means she can't push and push and push to get her own way in every stupid little thing all the time. Though there may be times when she is right and he is wrong, she must argue with a respectful tone, not setting herself over him as his judge, jury and executioner.

Taking care of the kids or an elderly parent is important, but she must make time for him and show him he still has a place in her heart.

Finally, she must never make him feel dirty for being attracted to her. Sex is what makes the difference between a marriage and just being room mates.

I hope these words inspire you to strive for success. It's about what you give, not what you get.